We are ALL being challenged right now…to rest more?

This week has felt so weird. In a way, it has been one of the most challenging weeks of my life. But not in the way that I’ve experienced challenge before. Not like in a sense of being busy or having conflict with others. This past week, I’ve been called to go within even deeper. I’ve been told by source that I’m still [somehow!] doing too much. 

If you would have asked me 2 weeks ago where I was headed, I would have told you that I’m ready to take more action and get my business really going! I’m gearing up for more clients and more meetings and more workshops. 

And alas. It’s been a week since I endured my first real concussion. Of course it was doing something I love which always makes it even a little stickier when it comes to healing. 

I have been advised, in order to heal this concussion as quickly and healthily as possible, to eat a paleo diet, take it easy for several weeks, take a bunch of [additional] supplements and to receive MNRI body work (to avoid heightened trauma responses) from one of my mentors, who also happens to be an occupational therapist. So basically, my original “plan” was put on pause. 

Injury or illness, I’m learning that they are all opportunities to go deeper and look at those shadow parts. 

To back track a little and give some perspective before I dive into what I’ve been learning, I’d like to point out that this week has been weird for SO many of us. Close friends have been getting sick or testing positive for corona virus or are simply being given more than they can handle in general. In addition to bodily manifestations of this call to rest, the 12 + inches of snow the pacific northwest received this week has been causing restaurants and cafes to shut down for the day or even the weekend. 

We are all being challenged right now. 

But why now? Why, in this cycle of life, are these turmoils and sudden changes seeming like they are trying to upheave our entire lives? 

I have a theory. And if you have the thought process that the corona virus is the main event causing these turmoils, I invite you to challenge that thought and open your mind a little. Because the virus is a symptom of what has been coming to a head for a long time. But I digress about that…
I’m not going to get conspiracy theorist on you. I care more about the internal processes. But I want to validate that where we are in history is a delicate, yet pivotal moment that we are being asked by source to prepare for. 

But not in the way that many of us have felt called. Living in a commune and building those foundations within your smaller community are all great things. But right now, I believe we are being challenged by our universal beings (divine, god, whatever you call the collective higher energies) to rest more. 

Let me say this again so you can feel how this feels in your whole being.

We are being called to rest more. 

I don’t mean watching television more. I don’t mean mindlessly drinking that bottle of wine while you “self-care” it up in the bathtub. I mean leaning into ease. Leaning into…dare I say — the feminine voice. 

— No. Voices, plural. 

Amidst my concussion recovery, so many old parts of my being have been challenged in a way that has a residual hurt. It’s leaving scars and revealing new wounds. Every where I turn, I feel frustration and resistance. 

Between the sudden occurrence of itchy small freckles all over my neck, to the candida that doesn’t seem to want to leave my body, to the pressure headaches from going upside down for even just 10 seconds. Between the difficult phone calls, to worrying about driving in icy conditions, to the constant text messages about plans changing in my external world. 

Yet. There are still moments of respite and pause. Even IN that fear, that frustration. There are still moments of ease. They seem fleeting, still. Like something I want to grab and hold onto for dear life. But then I hear her again.

Even. Slower. 

I cringe. 

HOW THE FUCK CAN I GO ANY SLOWER? NOTHNG IS HAPPENING AT THIS PACE SO WHY WOULD I SLOW DOWN. I feel like screaming this at her and sometimes I do. 

I feel like she shoots me a meek, but wise little smirk.  

As if to say “is nothing really happening? Or are your eyes not open to them yet? Or better yet, are you not in the rested space to receive them yet?” 

So I take a breath. Because you know what? As much of a smart ass as I feel she can seem sometimes, I trust her. 

And I keep trying. Cacoa Ceremony after letting go ceremony. Intuitive movement after yoga practice. Reading fiction novels and poetry. Meditating. Brief moments of work followed by longer moments of rest. I feel the ease in small moments. I feel the power. It’s coming.

And you know what else will come with this ease? I should say, what is already coming. Abundance. Clarity. Service. Compassion. Understanding. 

The world is being called to tap into our feminine energies at such a level that we are COMMITTING to a life of finding more of it. Of embodying more of that life force creative energy. The energy that can rebuild. Restructure. Allow hurt. Show more compassion. Ease into the pain as a collective. That energy that can go dress those sharp edges, tell them thank you and then begin to help you sand them down a bit. Slowly and with loving ease. 

We don’t have to do this alone. And we don’t have to power through anything.

That is not the way.

More rest. More ease. More trusting. Less doubting. More divine discipline. Discipline to yourself and your practice. To your playful and creative selves. More more more. 

With this, I leave you with my deepest deepest love and compassion for all of you going through it right now. 

I know that resting more isn’t “easy” for a lot of us. It triggers so many emotions and old wounds. But I promise you, that this is the message we are being asked to listen to. I feel it in the depths of my cells — even within the mitochondria within those cells that are fueling us with power. 

Take care of yourself now. Go into the darkness and rest there a while. Allow that darkness to engulf you like a slightly thin but beautiful blanket (that might also be a towel, but we’re unsure and that’s okay). Allow those feelings and rest in the knowing that control is a construct and we don’t need it in order to feel joy. We don’t need it in order to feel love. 

We are love.