What If I Don’t Wanna Meditate? (5 Tips & How To Challenge Your Thoughts)
While I am no expert on the benefits of meditation (I’m not even going to give you the “science” because I know you know), I am beginning to see its importance and the pure intention to simply help your mind grow stronger and more resilient.
It’s only day 35 of my daily devotional meditation challenge and the effects are not at all what I had anticipated. I have been meditating sporadically at least a few times a week throughout my adult life, but now I am upping my disciplined practice to make it a daily non negotiable.
But what I expected was for the voices to get louder; the voices telling me what to do and how to live. I expected to have a “clearer” vision of what my future was supposed to look like. I thought I would ask myself better questions and receive more specific answers. But alas, this “ego-led” thinking reminded me that having these types of expectations is leading me more and more down a path of unhappiness.
Instead, I’ve noticed that those voices became quieter.
I used to have this loud scream of a voice in my head that would occasionally disrupt my daily routines; it was a very specific pitch and loudness. That voice and voices like it have transformed into a very dull roar. Occasionally someone speaks a little too loud and I hear her and acknowledge her and validate that it’s okay that she acted out.
At first, I thought this meant I was doing it wrong. I thought, “X is experiencing visions and whole body experiences; why am I not?”
I’ve experienced everything from guided meditation, to sound baths, to solo meditations where I let my mind go quiet. But none of them have provided me this clarity I had desperately been seeking.
Sometimes I try to focus on a color I see, but that color always seems to be the same (it’s likely no coincidence that it’s the same color I would expect to see on the inside of my eyelids.
I often hear people in my life say “I can’t meditate” or “I am bad at meditating.” One close friend of mine was shocked when I told her that you don’t have to quiet your mind-you can actually just allow the thoughts to be there. Her mind was actually blown.
So what have I achieved these past 35 days? Well, aside from the quieter voices and thoughts, I’ve achieved some more patience. Something I don’t think I’ve allowed myself to have much of over my life. That impulsive “gotta feel good now” feeling is just too prevalent from my wounded teenage-hood.
But, I know the feeling of not wanting to meditate. I know the feeling of knowing something is so good for you, but just not having the drive/motivation/whatever it is to actually take the action and “do” it. You can give me all the science, but what if I still don’t wanna?
5 Things to Try If you Don’t Feel like Meditating:
Take a walk: with or without music, don’t give yourself too many rules. Go alone. Look at the trees, the leaves, the bark, the houses, the ground. Make a mental note of how long you’re walking so you can later take note of how much you increased/decreased your time alone. This is meditation.
Read a book: preferably a fiction book. Don’t go too deep into any one thought or one idea. Just let it be enjoyable. This is meditation.
Watch the cloud/snow: this is one of my personal favorites and I stole the clouds idea from a close friend of mine. But I LOVE to watch the snow and rain. This is meditation.
Make a day full of NIKSEN (ie “the art of doing nothing”): If you can make the space in your week, I highly encourage you to make a day where you have NO to-do list of ANY kind. Not even a fun to-do list. Do you ever make yourself do something just to “tick” it off your list but it’ supposed to be a fun thing and now you’ve made it into something to get “done/over with”? I do this a lot. ER, I used to. Now, I make myself a day full of doing WHATEVER I want (truly) and it is the best thing I could do for my psyche.
Creative outlets of any kind: This might be a stretch if you’re in a highly anxious state, but if you feel any ping to do that artistic/logical thing that brings you joy, DO IT. Play the bananagrams. Write the blog post. Bake the cookies. Paint the picture. Whatever you know brings you the fullest purest sense of JOY.
While all of the above will help you achieve a kinder voice and hopefully some more patience for yourself when it comes to meditating, eventually you’re going to have to challenge that voice a little. So, when you’re ready, I encourage you to look at some of those negative patterns that may be impeding your mind’s ability to completely “go to that place.”
Thoughts to Change & Challenge About Meditating:
“Perfection is the goal.”
I want to point out that likely, the reason you’re not meditating has to do with your idea of it needing to be a certain way- perfect, if you will. But I am here to give you FULL permission to simply take what you need from every experience and release the idea that there needs to be a specific goal and/or outcome.
“Meditating has to make me feel better right away.”
I challenge you to think of meditating as cleaning out your mind. A thought comes in that makes you feel uncomfortable, so you notice it. Tell it “that’s interesting!” To validate its presence. There is usually a purpose, but you don’t have ANY expectations of how to change it.
“I’m scared to meditate.”
All of this to say, there are still times when you feel a sense of dread towards the act of meditating. This dread comes from a place of trying to seep your body safe. Our thoughts can put our actual nervous systems into a fight or flight mode of thinking and acting. So that dread is okay and normal and means that you have to start slow and listen to that voice. It means there are some voices that are likely the same ones preventing you from being fully happy/content with your current life.
I hope this all made sense and provided a little clarity for where you’re at with your meditation game. I’m going to go play bananagrams now and chill out for a bit longer. Today has been my day of Niksen and it has been everything I needed and more.
Thank you so much for reading and happy meditating.
Peace & Light,
Tara Lynn C.